Copied from: Extreme Dirty Talking

One day…

It struck me just how much I enjoyed talking dirty. It wasn’t enough to just describe what I was going to do, or listen to how great I was, I wanted things to get extraordinarily nasty. Honestly, subs who can please me on this front have been few and far between and I believe it is the responsibility of the top/dominant/sir/ma’am/domme/daddy/mommy/master/whatever to educate and train (at appropriate times).

For this ‘lesson’ I’m going to use a less dominant voice; I’ll write so that if you don’t like my kind of dirty talk, the advice given will still be applicable, as well as applicable to both top and bottom roles.

From previous partners (both vanilla and kinky) I’ve enjoyed hearing about everything from random thoughts (‘There was a cute guy on the train to work today and I wanted to lift my skirt up and tell him he should use my ass in front of everyone’) to deeper desires that we would never do ( ‘I’m so nasty I want you to watch dogs use me.’ (for the record, I’m not into zoophilia, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find that previous statement hot as hell). I love hearing about how my partner has had X sexual partners, and how I’m number Y, and she enjoys me the best. The best dirty talkers find a way to spin their words so they aren’t lying and can still justify saying ‘you’re the best, my favorite’ et cetera.

When it comes to dirty talk: don’t restrict yourself or second guess what is valid; sharing is caring, experience is the greatest teacher, knowledge is power.

But, why dirty talk?

If I boil it down it goes like this: two parts. Part one: this kind of dirty talk serves the ego. And it does it in two ways. First, it lets me know what an amazing Dominant I am. Second, you saying these things is ‘slutty’ and ‘dirty.’ Now, not only am I an amazing Dominant, but this slutty girl (slutty implies high-experience and demanding libido, things that other males value) not only wants/desires/needs me, but chose (choice being sexier than force or coercion) me to be her Dominant.

Second: it clarifies things. If we’re playing that means I trust you, the words coming out of your mouth give me information that I accept and boom, I know more about you, furthering the connection, and my arousal.

Also, people are perverts, and so when perverts find each other it should be a celebration! Share, share, share. It lets us perverts know we aren’t alone in the world. When you confess to anyone that you have similar thoughts about fucking those random people you see, or that watching Star Trek gave you an idea for an amazing porno, it turns people on! Things like that bring us together through common ground, that we can then fuck on. On top of not feeling alone, mutual understanding is incredibly erotic, as I somewhat mentioned before.

Now my brand of dirty talk is all about degrading and humiliating my bottom, not in the sense of making her dumber or embarrassed, but in the name of legitimizing her alleged ‘slut nature.’ My goal is to take that allegation and turn it into a fact, a reality, that we can prance and frolic around until there are no more bodily fluids left. Think of dirty talk as a verbal certificate of proof.

We’ve covered my personal interest, and my ideas of general interest. Now we come to the actual how to section of this guide. It’s broken up into two parts. The first are the four rules, start with number 1 and once you feel you’ve mastered and taken all you can from it, work your way down the list.

Rule No. 1: Say Anything

We all have to start somewhere whether it’s ‘that feels good,’ ‘fuck me,’ or ‘use this filthy fuck slut!’ you’ve gotta have a base of what to say. Think about this, write things down you can say, find porn where there is a lot of dirty talk (I’d recommend stuff with Jenna Haze if you’re a girl, and for a guy… James Dean is pretty good) and copy them.

Now that you have this: practice! My favorite time is either when I’m masturbating, in the shower, or masturbating in the shower. Any thoughts of ‘I’m an idiot talking to myself’ that come up, ignore them. Focus on your end result, your goal: you want to be better at talking dirty, this is how you do it. Who cares how you get it? Just get it.

Another train of thought to follow is Dan Savage’s gonna do, doing, did.

  1. Say what you’re gonna do (I’m gonna fuck you!)
  2. Say what you’re doing (I’m fucking you so hard!)
  3. Say what you did (I fucked you so hard!)

Rule No. 2: Repeat

Now that you have some ground work (or maybe you are working off your partner who already has) it’s time to make things stupid-easy. Just repeat the premise of whatever they said. Do this until you feel you’ve mastered it, but it will seriously help you up your game, as well as not have to devote a ton of mind power to constantly being fresh which is hard for beginners.

An example for subs

I say to my sub: ‘Are you a stupid fucking slut?’

her answer:

‘I’m a stupid fucking slut.’

If you’re a dom and your sub says:

‘I love fucking your cock, sir.’

You respond:

‘I know you love fucking my cock, slut.’

For dominants repeating, I’d recommend providing whatever variation you can on it, at the end of the day, you do you.

Rule No. 3: Escalate

You’ve got a base, you have repetition in your tool box so you can use that when you need to. Now it’s time for escalation. You want dirty talk to go to eleven. This is hopefully as easy as the repetition, and can be combined as well. Using the example from repetition, I say to my sub:

‘Are you a stupid fucking slut?’

her response:

‘I’m the stupidest, dirtiest slut you’ve fucked.’

Escalation doesn’t have to be exact. Now, the dom example:

I love fucking your cock, sir’

The dom’s response

You live to fuck my cock, slut, you need it every day!’

Rule No. 4: Variation

Try not to, though we all have favorites, repeat too much. Don’t use a word or phrase over and over and over and… well, you get it. Variety is the spice of life and also the spice of extreme dirty talk. That said, we have favorites. For me it’s the title slut, and the modifier little. Switching things up, weaving in and out, creates a symphony. I don’t think many people want to hear the same key on a piano played over and over.

Rule No. 5: Creativity

By now you’ve gotten into the swing of things and no longer need your partner to guide you or give you something to repeat.

Time to get creative, step outside your box (vagina joke) and see what you come up with. Go back to those pornos or sit down with your partner. Real talk: you’re probably going to spit some shit that sounds pretty crazy, but honestly sometimes that’s the best shit to spit. The whole dog thing is pretty extreme–and was shocking–but I totally dug it.

Creative wise, or even just building basic dirty talk, you’ll want to start with these categories.

Confess:

Revealing a secret, whether it be one from the past, or present. Or just making a blanket statement is cool too.

Sub Example:

See the whole guy-on-the-train example from earlier as a confession, or this basic statement: ‘This stupid slut needs your cum in her filthy holes.’

Dom example:

‘I’ve wanted to use you all day, little slut.’

It’s a simple statement, but you’re still confessing something. Confessions don’t have to be big or grandiose.

Request:

Beg, plead, desperately (or confidently) request something.

Sub Example:

‘Please, please, please, I need your dick in me. I don’t care which hole, just use me like the filthy dumb cum dump I am.’

Dom Example:

‘Now, will you please get on your knees like a good girl, bend over and show me those fuck holes.’

Demand:

The opposite of requesting, but equally as exciting.

Sub Example:

‘You better fuck me like the nasty whore I am.’

Dom Example:

‘Take my cock down your throat right now, slut!’

Compliment:

Who don’t love themselves some compliment?

Sub Example:

‘I fucked all the guys at school but I like you the best.’

Dom Example:

‘You have such a perfect little ass, and I love the way it serves me.’

Worship:

This is, to an extent, just an extreme version of compliment. Worship is defined as:

the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity

Try and take that on when you worship, appreciate that person as a goddess/god.

Reluctance:

Something I recently discovered and really turns me on.

Sub Example:

‘please don’t tell anyone what a slut I am.’ ‘Why is this making me so wet?’

Dom Example:

‘I shouldn’t be fucking you, but you’re such a slut…’

They meld a bit with requests, confessions, et cetera, but that’s okay. Combine and see what you get. (Credit to u/01291987 for sub examples)

Resistance:

This can be sarcasm, or playful banter, or flat out resistance as a means of escalation. I personally don’t enjoy this in my dirty talk, but if you enjoy playing with or as a brat, this is a major piece.

One thing I enjoy in my dirty talk is having my sub speak from the third person. ‘This slut, your fuck-toy, cock-toy, she, her, it.’ Sometimes she’ll use her title: ‘Slut wants to have sex. Will you please give cum-pig your cock?’ But, even if it’s ‘Mmm, Jane is such a nasty cock toy’ I still go crazy. This is due to objectification, which I find to be a huge turn on. Doing this all the time can be a bit old, but 50 to 70 percent of the time, that seems to be the golden ratio.

Never take action out of fear, and never avoid taking action out of fear. Brain storm with friends, use word games. Creativity is kind of strange in that it can come at strange times. Don’t judge yourself for being weird. Jump in, or take baby steps, whatever works for you.

And like everything in life, if you want to get better at something: practice.

All the best!

Edited for formatting, added Dan Savage’s sage advice, spelling cause grammar hard..